Attachment Parenting Muslim Community

As Salaamu Aalaykum,
I posted this in another site and I wanted to share with my sisters my lo ordeal.

here goes

I should have posted earlier but here goes (imgs may be graphic)

my son was on antibiotics and antivirals from march 3rd to the 17th and he was hospitalized for 4 days and 5 nights. Apparently my son has eczema and he had scratched himself pretty bad so when the person kissed my son my baby boy was infected through the tears in his skin. To make matters worst almost every human being has staph bacteria living on their skin so my ibn was dealing with both a viral and a couple of bacterial infections.

We took him to the hospital because he needed urgent medical care. Anyway I cried when they inserted the IV and all the probing they did to the poor fella. I was so angry I wanted to find the person responsible and give them the beating of their lives. The dr. kept telling me not to go on a witch hunt since 95% of all adults are infected with this disease (cold sores). I don't remember anyone with anything particularly nasty on their mouths kissing my son but somehow they slipped passed me (i have my suspicions). DH and I are not infected nor do we have the antibodies for the virus so it most likely wasn't us. The dr also said that if I didn't notice the cold sore than the person might have had the beginnings of an outbreak.

The docs told me that I should count myself lucky since he was infected as a 4 month old instead of a newborn because it is almost always fatal in newborns even with treatment. It made me want to kill the person (whoever they were) even more. Also while I was in the hospital a friend called (she didn't know about my son's condition or that we were in the hospital) to share a story about a mother accidentally killing her newborn with a kiss http://news.aol.com/health/article/baby-...iss/362112 My anxiety went through the roof.

They kept telling me that it was HSV1 instead of the bad herpes HSV2. What is the difference? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING other than one is socially acceptable (HSV1) and the other (HSV2) is NOT socially acceptable since you most likely got it during hanky panky. Now I was told they found it ONLY in his skin and not in his blood so inshaAllah it doesn't return ever again. In the mean time I am not allowing anyone to kiss my son despite what the doctor said. I know I can't protect him forever but I am way to pist off to let people near him again.

my pedi had to call a head of time mentioning "they are very good parents" at least 10 times in a 2 minute conversation. I guess she did that so the hospital wouldn't call child protective services on us since my lo looked so bad. She saw how fast it progressed so it wasn't like we delayed getting him help.

I asked the doc if i should stop letting ppl kiss him and he said "No, if he hadn't been infected now he would have been exposed in daycare (by sharing drinks or toys), the park, school, or by a loved one." he also said that the chicken pox virus is from the same family as herpes so not to worry. I personally don't see how I will ever stop panicking when people get near my baby boy.

why do people feel entitled to kiss other people's kids? and please don't kiss their hands instead of their face because KIDS STICK THEIR HANDS in their mouths. I didn't have a problem with people kissing my kid before but now i do. I feel like a horrible mother for not being as protective as I should have been.

He was kissed on Sunday and what you see is his left cheek when we saw his pedi on Tuesday by the time we were admitted to the hospital that same day it had spread to his chin and it was already starting on his right. It was such an aggressive infection and it was treated aggressively with an antiviral called acyclovir and a cocktail of antibiotics.

docs did a whole mess of tests and cultures and thankfully my son responded to treatment without complications. I am allergic to so many things last time i was giving antibiotics my skin started falling of ala goldmember style (the movie austin powers) and I was treated as a burnt patient. So since this my son hasn't fully recovered. Although the skin infections and most of the lesions are gone we are still dealing with a case of horrible eczema. SO PLEASE make dua for him. JAzakAllah khayr.

So sorry your little one had to go through that sis. :-( May Allaah grant him shiffaah!

I completely dislike people kissing or even touching my baby, especially on his face and hands. One day I was on my way out and as I was walking down the stairs of our apartment building I met up the old spinster who lives in the apartment below ours. She was holding her dog (a poodle) in one hand. I knew that meant that she had just taken him out to empty his bowels. She usually picks up his load with a piece of tissue and dumps it in the trash before she makes her way back up to her apartment. So anyways, I was wearing my son in his carrier facing forward, and before I could blink she was rubbing his cheek with her hand. Yes, the same hand which was just a second ago touching her dog, and Allaah alone knows what else it touched! :-O I immediately stepped back and wanted to knock the old hag down the stairs. A few months later we were downstairs with my son 'riding' his bicycle. She came down with her garbage to throw it away. She held her full garbage bag in one hand and used the other to open the lid to the massive garbage can. Afterward, she came over to greet us and again rubbed my son's cheek with her dirty hands. A similar rubbishy incident occurred with another male neighbour, but instead of rubbing baby's cheek he shook baby's hand. :-O

Your story makes me realize that I'm not being paranoid, and that I have the right to turn into a beast about this issue. Some people keep telling me not to be so uptight and that babies need to be exposed to germs, and that if you're too clean all the time then they get sick from the slightest thing because they haven't built up any immunity, blah, blah, bull... ! People shouldn't be touching other people's children, especially if they haven't washed and thoroughly sanitized their hands first. Quite frankly, I don't know why people feel the need to kiss other people's children!

InshaaAllaah you're little one makes a full recovery, and your story will be helpful to others. Baraak Allaahu feeki!

As salaamu alaikum...
SubhanAllah... I don't really blame people for wanting to reach out and touch or kiss some children, because they are just so adorable that you can't resist. But at the same time, I don't like it either. I was in the masjid the other day and a really nice sister was sitting next to me helping me keep my son distracted (almost 3 year old), something I didn't ask her to do, but I was happy she did it. My son turned to me and complained of his foot being itchy, so I reached into his sock and scratched where it was itchy for him gently and didn't remove his sock until he was satisfied.
Next think you know, the sister reached down, took his sock off and started rubbing his foot. Mind you, I don't even know this sister, I've only seen her twice, and I felt extremely uncomfortable. First off, I don't like others seeing some of my child's body, the feet included (that's one of the reasons they wear socks) and second, I had already done what I felt needed to be done, third, I don't even know if I would like one of my close friends doing that unless I authorize it! Sorry to sound so mean, but I was upset!!! I quickly put his sock back on and quietly told my son, "don't let anyone take your socks off, that is private and only for mommy and daddy to do".
I've had other incidences involving people kissing my son in the mouth. Something I despise with all my heart. Also some of my husband's family feeding my son from their own mouths... AAARRRGHHH, I felt like turning into the Hulk when that happened...
I think the best solution is to speak up but try to do it in a nice way. May Allah make it easy for us. Ameen.
BarakAllahu feekum.

I've seen terribly cute babies before, but that doesn't make me want to touch, far less kiss them.

The sister was probably trying to be helpful and probably doesn't have any children of her own, so it's possible that she wouldn't have the experience to realize how a mother would feel about things like that.

(06-08-2009 12:10 PM)ummuthman Wrote: [ -> ]I've had other incidences involving people kissing my son in the mouth. Something I despise with all my heart. Also some of my husband's family feeding my son from their own mouths... AAARRRGHHH, I felt like turning into the Hulk when that happened...

Now this would make me lose my manners, subhaanAllaah! WHAT?!? If anyone is entitled to kiss a child on the mouth, or feed a child pre-chewed food, then it would be the parents only. It's just gross that someone else could do this and think that it's ok. SubhaanAllaah!

for some reason the images weren't showing up so I had to attach them.

Oh, poor baby! I hope it will fully clear up soon. I hate people kissing my baby!! I guess I'm lucky she's a toddler now and even though she's oh-so cute people don't start kissing children like they try to with babies. Still though, my daughter loves to kiss so I need to continue making her kiss friends and other people on the cheek (when she must) and keep the mouth kisses to the close family. If she got this infection now, it would probably be because of how she loves to give people beautiful kisses when they ask for it. I will teach her to say NO! especially after seeing this post. Thank you for sharing and thank you for the warning!